Anniversary dates of traumatic events can reactivate thoughts and feelings from the actual event, and survivors may experience peaks of anxiety and depression.
Around the anniversary of a traumatic event, people are likely to remember events clearly and many will feel emotions more intensely than usual. Reliving the sadness is a very natural part of the healing process. But there is no one right way to heal. Try not to compare your reactions to those of others. Each person is different, and each individual will find his or her own way of coping with the memories.
Some of the reactions those affected may experience as the anniversary date nears include difficulty concentrating, loss of appetite, irritable outbursts, nightmares, difficulty falling or staying asleep, and feelings of detachment from others.
Coping strategies to help people through traumatic anniversaries
- Recognize and acknowledge feelings you may experience. Understand that your feelings are part of the recovery process.
- Find healthy ways to cope with your distress. Share memories and feelings with someone you trust or just spend time with friends and family. Activities that allow your mind to focus on something other than these memories are a good coping strategy for some people. Contemplative activities like reading, thinking, or just taking a walk are also a good approach. Avoid negative ways to cope such as drinking or using drugs.
- Remember and celebrate the lives of your loved ones. Anniversaries of a lost loved one can be a difficult time for friends and family, but it can also be a time for remembrance and honoring them. It may be that you decide to collect donations to a favorite charity of the deceased, passing on a family name to a baby, or plant a garden in memory. What you choose is up to you, as long as it allows you to honor that unique relationship in a way that feels right to you.
- Use your support system. Reach out to friends and family. Don’t isolate yourself.
How psychologists can help
Psychologists are trained to help people better handle the fear, guilt, or anxiety that can be associated with the death of a loved one. If you need help dealing with your grief or managing a loss, consult with a psychologist or other licensed mental health professional.
Psychologists can help people build their resilience and develop strategies to get through their sadness. Practicing psychologists use a variety of evidence-based treatments—most commonly psychotherapy—to help people improve their lives. Psychologists, who have doctoral degrees, receive one of the highest levels of education of any health care professional.